a good deed gone bad

every now and again i still get overwhelmed with emotions for this girl. but since there is no room for recovery it seems, i work hard to hold out and just let it all go. when i get the urge to pick up the phone, i say a little prayer instead. i pray for the folks that i am afraid will no longer be apart of my life for reasons that could've been worked out. i speak up for the ones that are so quick to villainize me, when really my intentions are and always will be, good. throughout the course of life, we all gotta reap what we sow...what goes around, comes around...karma will catch you. shucks, maybe the reason behind this amazing start to a new year is my fault. i can't tell. but i can't stay here thinking about what i could've done and how things would've been had i done this or that. it's futile to work on the past. so i wish the group of yall farewell and adieu...

friday night i realized that i was cornered by attention junkies while trying to experience a potential someone i could vibe with. i must admit, attention junkies do not overtly express their plan or intentions...they just explode on the scene and blow the spot up! let it be known that an attention junkie is someone that can't stand not being the center of attention to the person they seek attention from. by whatever means necessary, they try to glean this affection and it is annoying, unattractive, embarrassing, and quite frankly, absurd. they act like something is wrong with them so that you can ask what is the matter. they can't stand being the butt of a joke...they are lonely...they are...boring...with low self-esteem...they play mind games. i could hardly focus on the point of the evening because these junkies wouldn't stop bothering me. if it wasn't one telling me how much i reminded her of her ex (because we are close friends and have a lot of similar tendencies) and how she could not stand my ways (but she was way more explicit than what i'm making it out to be...right in front of the point of the evening), i had another one taking every single thing that i said seriously. from the outside looking in, it looked like both junkies were competing for my time and attention when i was unwilling to deal with either of them.

luckily, though, my point of the evening paid no attention to the shaninigans of the junkies. her eyes were still on me, just like they were when we initially met. the coolness is sick and i can dig it! i wonder how those junkies can look me in the face and not see how i have reason to be disgusted with them. amazing...


i got my trophy...the blockin' was in vain...and no, you are not welcome or invited anymore. we feel sorry for yall but you're on your own from now on. go find fellow junkies to feed off of.